Valentine’s Day is upon us, my Sexies. And while for some of us it is an opportunity to spend some romantic time with our partner, for others it comes with a truckload of self-deprecating thoughts and ugly crying fits.
I am hearing loud and clear my single girlfriends complain about their singleness. “What am I doing on Valentine’s Day? Oh you know… I will be home... depressing about being single and totally hating on it, desperately waiting for the 15th to come."
Before you curse Valentine’s Day out of your life and retreat in fetal position in your closet to ravage that pot of Nutella as an act of rebellion (not that I’ve ever done that……...), let me tell you about a little thing I just learned that might change your perspective:
The Ancient Greeks came up with not one word for Love, not two, but four. I have simplified them a bit:
- Eros, is the word we most associate with Love and calls on intimate, emotional love and sexual passion.
- Agape, is, for Christians, the love of God for his children and is an unconditional, charitable form of love.
- Phileo, means affection, warmth and tenderness, and is usually geared towards friendships.
- And Storge, is the love and affection we feel for parents, children, family members, in full acceptance of their whole selves.
I can hear you from here: “why does it matter to me that the Ancient Greeks differentiated between these four types of love? And more importantly, is one of these Greeks available for a V Day date?"
This is why it matters:
If there are different kinds of love, then surely there are different ways to celebrate it.
[Reeling Valentine’s Day back in] Viewing V Day as the day to only express Eros love may be a restrictive view of what that day is all about. Don’t let the barfathon of pink and red hearts throughout town fool you, V Day is about flying that Love kite high, for any and all kinds of Love.
So you are single. Then spend V Day celebrating someone you love in a non-romantic way:
Take grandpa or grandma on a date, treat them and watch their wise face light up as they spend the day with their beloved grandchild, I am sure it’s been a while.
Make plans with a friend, especially the one who’s had a rough time lately; cuddle with Champagne for a movie marathon or paint the town red, whichever feels right that day.
Do something you have always wanted to do but never quite dared to (flying Trapeze, here you come!).
Or grant yourself the queen mother of all unicorns: a blissful day of unadulterated self-love with no to do's, no checklists, no shoulds, and no plans at all; where the only question to be asked is: “right here, right now, what would feel good to [do / eat / drink / meditate on / feel]?”
Who knows, this Valentine’s day may take you places you’ve never been, doing things you’ve never done, and feelings all the feels. You might end up eating chocolate torte for breakfast, in bed, indulgently draped in silk, listening to some luscious blues music for hours and feeling pretty freakin’ ecstatic about it (not that I’ve ever done that………).
Be gentle, be loving, be compassionate with yourself, and a very happy Valentine’s Day to you.